I think if there were any word to completely remove from our vocabulary (okay, well, that was a little dramatic) or, rather, use more appropriately and more stringently is the word “need.”
How many times have we lamented about wanting to lose a couple pounds; wanting to read more often; wanting to eat more wisely; wanting to work more diligently; wanting to be more disciplined in _______, taken a big sigh accompanied with a heavy shrug & slump of the shoulders and followed up the lament with a, “yeah, I need to…” and then went about our merry way?
Does that not drive you absolutely bonkers? It does me. Again, a little dramatic, I concede, but my goodness.
The thing with announcing the need to do something, I believe, makes us think we are actually taking the necessary, proactive steps toward doing the thing, thus making us feel pretty darn good about ourselves.
I ain’t no psychologist, but that’s the only logical pschobabblemumbojumbo explanation I can come with.
But “needing to (do something)” has no attachment to it, necessarily. It is a fluffy, noncommittal word full of indefinite nothingness. I may say, “yeah, I really need to eat more green vegetables (that aren’t fried).” I acknowledge this very fact of my area of improvement, but in the meantime, Imma go ahead and scarf down these fries and cheeseburger.
This was a personal eureka moment for me. A couple years ago when I said that I needed to train more regularly & intensely, eat more wisely, adopt a healthier lifestyle, etc, I chose to actually attach some weight to the word. I decided to make the necessary, consistent, non-punishing and SUSTAINING adjustments in my life to follow through on the need.
As a result, I haven’t felt better or more healthy in a long long time.
So, with that, quit being so “needy” and while you’re at it quit living intentionally altogether!
