My Perspective #44: “Healthy Heuristic 1 of 3: Don’t complain.”

I like to think of a heuristic as a rule of thumb, a feasible & reasonable hypothetical or, in this case, a straight-up discipline to live by. 

The first of 3 “healthy heuristics” of the series is no complaining

So, don’t complain. I’ll explain exactly why at the very end. Until then, keep reading. 

Complaining is easy. Complaining feels gooooood. Complaining creates a camaraderie among a shared-misery. 

Complaining reveals the things that burden you, oh, so much and, oh, so easily. 

More importantly, complaining is bunk and should be avoided.

In my completely unscientific, but easily corroborated perspective, complaining dignifies the thing being lamented and complained about. Complaining gives the thing “life.” 

Stay with me here.

It’s hot. This is hard. I’m tired. I’m too busy. I can’t do this. It’s too much work. I don’t know the first thing about this. My coworker is a jerk. My spouse is a tyrant. I’ll never amount to anything. Blah blah blah. Are you done?

Quit complaining. Really. You’re only dignifying the “problem” with actual justifiers for your feelings.

We know it’s hot. And? Yeah, it’s hard. So what? You’re tired? Get untired. Too busy? I think you mean too indifferent & unorganized. Too much work? What does that even mean? You don’t know? Well, figure it out. About your coworker, what does he do well? About your spouse, have you seen the issue from her perspective? You’re not a “loser.” You’re an achiever. Just focus, eat wise and exercise.

We’ve all heard the story about the boy who cried wolf, right? Same principle applies here. If you’re a “complainer,” then it’s hard to take any legitimate concern/complaint seriously. Why? Well, because you (seemingly) complain all the time. Make sense? If you seldom complain (first, good for you), then it’s more likely to take your concern/complaint seriously when you express it (I’d venture to guess the non-complainer is an industrial-type who wants to get to the heart of the matter before resorting to complaining anyway), which means a level of urgency can be applied to genuinely help or take seriously.

Now, when you do have a legitimate concern/complaint (even illegitimate at times), which we all do, I strongly encourage having a person or two that you trust who you can go to as a sounding board to talk through your funky feelings and squelch your complaints before they get big and hairy. 

Be intentional and conscientious about this.

Anyway, if you can’t stop your bend toward complaining (unless it’s about someone else’s driving – kidding), kindly take me off the invite list to your pity party.

Now, exactly why not to complain: 50% of people don’t care and 50% of people are glad you have problems too. 

Above referenced link here and here

Links to the 2 other Healthy Heuristics here: don’t make excuses and don’t worry.

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