My Perspective #55: “Rely on no one.” Let me explain.

I think the title of this blog sounds more harsh than intended, but it doesn’t make it any less true. 

Relying on people sets you up for disappointment or missed opportunities. Others don’t get it like you do.

Ouch! What a cynic!

If you have a BHAG, it is in your best interest not to seek “approval” or “advice” from others. There are instances where approval and advice may be appropriate, but in the essence of following a dream, a goal or an accomplishment, the approval or advice sought could very well derail the whole thing*, especially if you tend to wrap your self-worth or action on others’ approval or acceptance. 


I remember creating a mini-focus group for the beta beta versions of the websites: The359Protocol and The Arena Disciplina. I was intentionally seeking “advice.” But the advice sought would come out of the parameters I set. This way the feedback I would receive would be more meaningful and not just opinions. 

I have personally faced opposition from the very people in whom I could have sworn would support me “unconditionally” (in the ways I like support shown, which isn’t always compatible, to be fair). 

Even those disappointing (and most likely) occasions can’t thwart the vision. 

However, if you can find a person or a group of people who genuinely care about you & encourage you, who can collaborate soberly and can share ideas without pretense, that’d be wonderful and should be fostered to the nth degree, but STILL don’t rely on them — not even THAT coveted group!

Don’t lose sight of the fact that you are a child of God. That’s first and foremost. He perfectly wove and created you with a gift of drive and ambition. How you meaningfully use those gifts is your gift back to Him. Conversely, keep in mind, He didn’t create others around you to be your personal cheerleaders and your personal motivators, so it’s on you. Got that?

So, besides relying on God and your gifts, rely on no one. The bottom line is, you have to be willing to be your own cheerleader, your own motivator, your own driving force, your own coach. (I will say, however, if you find a good coach, in their level of expertise and who actually cares, he/she can be worth their weight in gold in your life).

Hmm. To put a more positive spin on this blog-piece, maybe I should have entitled it “Self-Reliance is Key,” or something like that.

So, I’m not saying to only rely on yourself, just don’t rely on others. 

*p.s. all of this is assuming you’re not siphoning out life-savings, cheating people or acting crookedly.

Link to BHAG (referenced link above)

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