Deep within the throes of the hustle, through the grind and amidst the daily rigmarole, I find myself sometimes getting & staying deep in the trenches of whatever is monopolizing my attention.
I will get God’s nudges to reach out to old friends or distant relatives (and sometimes even immediate relatives), but I will dismiss them and tell myself I’ll do it later, but definitely “when I have time.“
I want to abandon that mindset.
On April 13, I experienced a tragic and sudden death of a relative who I loved dearly. We were very close growing up. He was an instrumental part of my childhood.
I had multiple nudges to reach out to him the week leading up to his untimely death. I regret to say I did not act upon those nudges. I am at peace with knowing that even if I had reached out to him, his death was (most likely) imminent regardless, especially given the state of his body. His body just shut down on him.
But, like the title of this article says, I hope he felt heard, seen and significant. I don’t know if he did feel those things, particularly from me. All I can do is hope that he did.
I hope and pray I was someone in his life that made him feel heard. We had many many conversations over the years about everything and nothing. We laughed. We ribbed each other. We wrestled. I listened to him. I tried to encourage him. So, I can only hope he felt heard.
I hope and pray I made him feel seen. I made a point to see him whenever the opportunity struck. I made a point to give him a hug — not a handshake — every time we said hello or goodbye. So, I can only hope he felt seen.
I hope and pray I made him feel significant. I didn’t always validate his outlook or his train of thought on many things, but he was entitled to his opinion & perspective which was worth hearing out. His personal development and personal accomplishments became less and less (in his mind) as he got older, which afforded him (in his mind) to live more and more in the past and more carelessly as well. So, I can only hope I made him feel significant.
I don’t want to “learn a lesson” as a knee-jerk reaction to a terrible situation, but I want this occasion to affect me. I want it to affect my response to nudges and my awareness to others’ feelings.
So, moving forward, I hope I can make others feel heard, seen and significant throughout, and in spite of, the throes, grinds and rigmaroles.
RIP Uncle Jack. I love you.
